Right now there's a story blowing up online. This is not a new story — this has happened repeatedly, many times. Let me set the stage for you. You have an event host who opened up sponsorship packages and took money from people wanting to be sponsors, and is now being accused of not delivering on what they were promised.
This is a pay-to-play event — very different from being invited to an event. And I'm using "event" broadly: it could be in person, a large event, a boutique-level event, a virtual summit, a get-together in the library — use the term broadly. We're going to keep the pieces very simple, because when they're simple, it's easy to see the fire.
End result: you now have someone who took money whose reputation is being dragged through the mud, and you have angry buyers who paid money and didn't get what they wanted. When I say this is predictable, it's completely predictable. More than a decade ago, Oprah was in this same situation on a live tour, and people were saying "well, you're getting exposure." I hate that word. But this is predictable. We have a seller selling sponsorships, and we have buyers paying for that sponsorship. That's all this is. It's called pay to play. It's nothing more than a purchase transaction.
So today we're going to run two drills in one, because when we're paying to play, there are two sides to the coin. We have the buyer's side — the people purchasing, sending their money in exchange for what they want — and the seller's side — someone receiving money and giving something in exchange. Put any other label on it you want; I like to keep things at their simplest so it's easier to see and not get distracted by names, places, dates, or labels.
We need a little background, and then we'll get to our fire alarm, fire extinguisher, and running the fire drill. If this is the first time you're joining me — this is Business Fire Drills. Business moments that are completely predictable, panic that is totally optional, and I'm a firm believer that we run the fire drill before the fire happens. I'm attorney Tamsen Horton. I've been helping people put out fires since 2011. I've seen a lot, done a lot, and now I'm here to help you not get burned, help your business not get burned, and prevent things from burning down around us.
Here we go. You have an event host. They sell speaking slots, sponsorships, a spot in a virtual goodie bag — they're selling something. Then you have the reverse: the person who wants to speak from stage, be included in a goodie bag, get access to the audience, get whatever was promised in the exchange. That's a purchase, plain and simple — no different than if I go to the store and buy a gallon of milk and the store gives me a gallon of milk. Whenever money changes hands for a promise, you have two people who each need their own fire drill. And you're going to be exceptional, because you're going to know both sides of it.
SIDE ONE: THE BUYER
Here's what the fire alarm sounds like. You send the money over — likely handled digitally. You show up, you perform, you deliver what was asked of you as part of the exchange. And what you were promised — the audience size, the placement, the promotion, whatever — doesn't happen. That's the alarm. I paid and I didn't get my thing. I go to the store, pay my money, and don't get my milk. Or I pay, get the milk, get home, and it's completely curdled. Either way — you paid and did not get what you expected to receive.
Are you reacting or responding? Reacting looks like immediately posting your frustration publicly the second you feel taken advantage of. It feels justified. Social media gives us a place where fires blow themselves out of proportion. I'm here to tell you, this is not likely going to help you at all — if you see this going down, you might want to hold back and not jump into the thread. Responding means you already know exactly what to do. You know to pull out the purchase terms. If there were five things promised and items two, three, and four didn't happen, because it's written down and you have a copy, you know exactly what to do.
Let's run this fire drill.
D — Don't react. Do not fire off the public post in the heat of the moment. Do not send the angry email ChatGPT just drafted for you. Not yet. You can be angry — what we do with that anger matters.
R — Record everything. Everything you were promised, or believe you were promised, should be written down. Gather the contract, emails, screenshots, posts in a community. Ideally you have a purchase agreement — in these situations that doesn't always exist, so gather what you have. If you don't already have an organizing system, make a folder and name it with the event or the person's/business's name. You can refine the system later, but put it in a folder. This gives your nervous system something to do, and it's what any lawyer will tell you to do.
I — Identify the real risk. Was the promise broken, or is there ambiguity — something that was never actually promised in writing? Writing carries the day; the law loves things written down. Back to the milk example: pay the money, don't get the milk — broken promise. Pay the money, get the milk, it's curdled — that's where ambiguity lives. A business could reply, "we told you you could be included, we didn't say we were going to deliver it." That's the difference between something completely not happening and ambiguity.
L — Lead with calm. Go back to the person you paid, professionally and privately, with what you were told and what you got. You can feed your facts into your favorite AI tool and say "help me draft a response" — totally appropriate. Keep it factual.
L — Lock in the lesson. You are never going to pay for anything again without a written set of purchase terms you're happy with — something you can hold and say "if something happens, based on this document, I know this will be much easier to resolve." Before you ever send money, get all the deliverables in writing. That's the lesson.
Here is your fire extinguisher. This situation touches a few different drills — the core set is 30-plus (I say "plus" because it might land at 32, maybe 33, and I don't want to change the copy everywhere). This piece is Drill Four: Before a High-Ticket Client Agreement Goes Sideways. Whenever you're the one paying for a service, a seat, a slot, you want purchase terms that spell out exactly what you're buying and exactly what happens if it's not delivered. Not a vibe, not a sales pitch, not "we're just friends, it'll all work out." Actual terms you have a copy of and have read the important sections of.
SIDE TWO: THE SELLER
Now let's flip the coin to the person receiving the money. Here's what your alarm sounds like. You sold something — a large or smaller financial amount, a promise, a result. Delivery day has come and gone and you didn't back it up. Maybe you can't. Maybe the way the day or the event went, it became impossible and was out of your control. That's the alarm, and it usually shows up quietly before it gets loud.
Are you reacting or responding? Reacting looks like going silent, getting defensive, replying to social media posts — nervous system going a little crazy, "no, that's not how it happened, you've got this wrong." We've all seen it. Responding means you already have a backup plan built in for what happens if you can't deliver — built before you ever sold the thing. That's part of running the drill before the fire happens, planning for items one through five of your deliverables and what the backup plan is.
Let's run the drill.
D — Don't react. Do not get defensive with the first person who calls it out. It's fine to say, "we are actively looking into this, thank you for bringing it to our attention." Respond — not react — with calm professionalism. I like the metaphor of the sturdy pilot: the plane can be going wildly out of control, but if the pilot is calm — "thank you, I have this under control, we're working through it, you can trust I'll land this plane safely with you in it" — that steadiness matters, even though he still has to deal with what's going on.
R — Record everything. What did you actually sell — in law, your "promise" — in writing, to your buyers? You need to know that before you can respond. Ideally you have purchase terms; if not, what did you say on social media, in DMs, in emails, on a Zoom call — where are the transcripts? Gather it all into a folder.
I — Identify the real risk. Is this one unhappy person who didn't open the milk jug to realize it was fine, or is this a pattern across many buyers? Different responses for different situations. We're human — we will mess up. That's okay; it's part of being human, and now you work through the consequences and get it to where it should have been.
L — Lead with calm. A clear, honest acknowledgment beats silence or spin, every time. Tell the truth: "I've got this, we're in the middle of it, we're figuring it out, stay in your seat, I will get us through." If you screwed up, you screwed up — that might not change the consequences, but hiding it makes the consequences a thousand times worse.
L — Lock in the lesson. Fix the offer, the promise, or the delivery system — whichever one broke. If you had no purchase terms, get them. If your terms were too ambiguous, refine them.
Here's your fire extinguisher — this is Drill 25: Before Overpromising Damages Credibility. If you sell a promise or an offer, you need a delivery plan behind it that you've actually stress-tested — not hope, an actual plan. I've delivered things digitally since 2011 and in person too — things will happen. Plan for the worst-case scenario so you can still deliver the metaphorical milk the way someone expects to receive it.
WHEN IT GOES PUBLIC
So those are the drills for buyers and sellers. When it goes public — hits social media, spreads through the community — here's what that compounding alarm sounds like: complaints didn't stay private, they all went public at once, and it combusted. Like a fire where opening the door lets oxygen hit it and the whole thing goes up.
That brings us to Drill 22: Before a Client Complaint Goes Public. Are you reacting or responding? Once it's public, the game shifts — you're not just managing one relationship, you're managing how an entire audience watches you handle it.
Let's run the drill.
D — Don't react defensively in your replies. If you get nothing else out of any of my fire drills, nail the D and you'll be an A-plus student.
R — Record everything being said, so you're responding to reality, not rumor. Take screenshots, gather what you can find.
I — Identify whether this is fixable in public or needs to move privately. There are plenty of times — back to the sturdy pilot — where you say, "we're talking to the people affected, we've got it, this doesn't have to stay in the public eye." (I'll share a cruise story another time where exactly this played out — a lot of online noise that had nothing to do with the people actually affected.)
L — Lead with a calm, clear statement. Not silence, not an essay. Facts and circumstances determine what needs to be said and how — your publicist or attorney could be involved. Use the wisdom you've assembled around you.
L — Lock in the lesson, so the next time you sell or buy this, it doesn't happen.
Here's the fire extinguisher: purchase terms, plus a short honest public statement, plus a private way of communicating with the buyers you need to make it right — refund, replacement, whatever the facts and circumstances call for. You want a win-win. Take a hard look at what broke so it doesn't happen again.
So that's the fire drill for today. What's your next right decision? Are you on the buyer's side of the coin, or the seller's side? This fire is completely predictable — panic is optional. If you're paying to play at anything, get the purchase terms in writing before you send the money. That should be your baseline operating system. Plenty of my clients, when the person selling says "oh, I don't have purchase terms," just send them a copy of what I've given them. That happens a lot. Whenever I'm a guest doing an appearance on someone else's anything, blending my IP with theirs, if they don't have a guest agreement, I send them one. Not because I expect a shenanigan — but you want things in writing. It's such a good fire extinguisher.
If you're the one selling, make sure you can deliver — plan for the worst-case scenario, plan for the tech going down, plan for something at the event not working. What's the plan of attack so you can still deliver the metaphorical milk the way someone is expecting to receive it?
Tell me in the comments — are you typically a buyer or a seller? I'm curious which side of the coin you're most often on. And if you'd like the actual drills for 25 and 22, follow the links in the show notes.
And remember: business moments are predictable, your panic is totally optional, and we are going to run the fire drill before the fire alarm goes off.
