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HOCKEY MAMA MONEY CLUB
Episode 3: "What Changes When the Money Works"
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Hello again. I'm Tamsen — fellow hockey mom — and I want to start
today's episode a little differently.
I am not going to open with the friction. I'm not going to name
something hard or expensive or exhausting. We did that in Episode 1.
You already know what the hard looks like. You're probably living it.
Today I want to talk about what's on the other side of it.
I want to paint a picture — based on what I know is possible, what I
live, what I see, what I experience. And we're not painting a picture
of a financial goal. Not a revenue number or a savings milestone or
a line on the family spreadsheet that's finally going in the right
direction.
I want to paint you a picture of a Saturday.
Because I think that's what we're really after. Not the number.
The Saturday. The specific feeling of a Saturday when the money side
is working and you are just there — fully there — and everything feels
the way it was supposed to feel when your kid first hit the ice and
your heart did that thing.
That's what this episode is about.
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THE HOCKEY MOM WHO WENT UPSTREAM
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Let me describe her to you. The hockey mom who's done the work. Who
went upstream. Who found the levers that actually move things and
pulled on them.
She's not a different person. She's not richer in some abstract sense,
living a life that looks nothing like it did before. She's you. Just
a version of you that got the right tools at the right time and had
the courage to use them.
Here's what her Saturday looks like.
She's in the stands. Her kid just stepped onto the ice. And that
thing happens — that lift, that thing that's always happened. For me,
it's the warmup. I love filming warmup. I love watching the kids get
each other excited. Whatever transpires in the game, whatever the
scoreboard says — the warmup is just pure hockey. It's so good.
And she's there. She stays in that feeling.
Because the part of her brain that used to immediately start
calculating — what did this weekend cost, what's in the account,
what's coming next month — that part is quiet. Not because it went
away. Not because she doesn't know the numbers. She knows the numbers.
She just knows they're handled. She went upstream. She restructured
things at the root. And now when the tournament weekend comes, the
showcase weekend comes, it has a place to land. It's not detonating
anything anymore.
She watches the whole game. Fully present. Cheering when she should
cheer, holding her breath when she should hold her breath. And if you
ever see me at the rink — I will be in one of the four corners,
standing. I cannot sit and watch Kip play. I do that back-and-forth,
side-to-side sway I think I started when he was a baby. I have to
stand. But I'm there. Not distracted. Not managing something in the
back of my mind.
That's the first thing that changes.
It may sound small. It is so not small.
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THE CRINGE GOES AWAY
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Here's something else that changes.
When equipment breaks — and it will, because it always will, because
that is just the nature of this sport and these kids and these growing
feet that stop fitting into skates on no predictable schedule — she
handles it. Without the cringe. Without the panic. Without the stress
response.
We're in July right now. Kip's skates are already getting tight. And
I'm like, we have to ride this out until fall because I know he's
going to grow. I know. But when that moment comes — when October
arrives and the skates are too tight and there was no warning —
she handles it.
Not with dread. Not with that specific helpless feeling of being
blindsided by a sport that is always, always going to blindside you.
She simply handles it and moves on and gets back to watching her kid.
I'm not saying it doesn't cost money. It does. I'm not saying it
won't be inconvenient. It will be. What I'm saying is that she built
something upstream that gives unexpected hockey costs a place to land.
That might be the most underrated part of this whole thing. The
cringe going away. It's not glamorous. It's not a noisy win. But it
changes the entire texture of the season — every game, every
tournament, every unexpected bill. All of it feels different when
the foundation is solid.
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THE VACATION YOU CHOSE
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Now let me tell you about the vacation.
Her family takes a trip. A real one. Not a tournament in a different
city — an actual vacation, to a place they chose because they wanted
to go there. Not because a tournament schedule dictated the
destination. Not because the only travel budget left is the one hockey
didn't take over.
They went somewhere. They chose it. And when they were there, nobody
was doing math. Nobody was calculating what it was costing versus
what was in the account. They were just on vacation. Together. A
family with a life that is bigger than one sport.
Hockey is still there when they get back. The ice time, the practices,
the gear, the whole operation — all still there. But it didn't consume
everything. It didn't become the only story of their family's year.
Here's where I want to share something personal.
I grew up as a nationally competitive figure skater. And in my family,
everything — where we lived, every decision, every dollar — swirled
around skating. My sister and I both skated. It was an insane sport
family. And the amount of pressure I felt as a child, knowing that
all the money went to skating, that all the decisions were made around
skating — that stays with you.
This is a big reason why hockey being a part is so important to me.
A wonderful, important, joyful part — but a part. Being able to take
a vacation that your family chose, that means something to all of you,
that's not luck. That's not a financial windfall. That is the result
of going upstream and restructuring things so the sport is funded
without the sport being everything.
That's what's possible. And the possibilities are beautiful.
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THE CONTRACT MOMENT
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Here's one more scene I want to paint, because I've been thinking
about this one for years.
Her kid is getting noticed.
Now — I want to be really clear. This community is for every hockey
mom, regardless of what level her kid plays at. And when I say kids
get noticed, it may or may not be in hockey. It could be in something
else entirely. But the skill — knowing what to do when an opportunity
is put in front of your family — that applies everywhere.
In hockey, some kids advance to a level where conversations start
happening. Where someone puts something in front of your family —
a contract, an offer, an opportunity. And when that happens, everyone
shows you their best foot. Everyone appears to know what's going on.
And you just don't want your kid to miss this chance.
In the version of this story where the hockey mom didn't have the
right resources, she's sitting across from someone she doesn't fully
understand, with a document she doesn't fully understand, and she
signs it. Because she doesn't want to slow anything down. Because
everyone else is signing.
In the version where she found her way here — to the right community,
the right information, the right fellow hockey mom who happened to
know a few things worth knowing — she reads it. Or she knows exactly
what questions to ask. Or she knows when to say, hold on, I need a
day. I need to look at this more carefully.
She walks in prepared. She advocates from a position of knowledge
instead of a position of hope and FOMO. And fear, by the way — false
evidence appearing real. That's what fear is.
No manager cares about your kid the way you do. No agent, no coach,
no program. You are the most motivated, most invested person in that
room. You should also be one of the most informed.
That's something I want to help make possible for the families who
find their way here.
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WHAT HOCKEY MAMA MONEY CLUB ACTUALLY IS
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So what is Hockey Mama Money Club, exactly?
Honestly — it's still developing. And I'm comfortable with that. When
I coached figure skating, parents would bring their toddlers and ask
me: are they going to make the Olympic team? And I'd say — no idea.
Nobody can tell you that. This community is the same. I don't know
exactly what it will become. What I do know is what it is right now.
It's a community. A club. And I chose that word deliberately, because
in hockey, your club, your association — it means something. It's not
a course with a start date and an end date. It's not a program you
finish and forget. It's a place you belong.
A place where we talk about the real stuff. The money, the mindset,
the creative ways of looking at your situation that nobody showed you
were options. Where we go upstream together instead of treading water
alone.
And it lives on Kajabi — not a Facebook group. I've run my businesses
on Kajabi since 2015. The community functions like a group, but
without the noise, the scroll, the latest state of the world pouring
in every time you open it. Sometimes you need a respite. A lounge.
A quiet space to just talk with people who get it.
The podcast is where we talk. Every episode, I'm bringing something
useful to the table. The community is where we connect. Where you
find the other calmest moms at their respective rinks and build
something together.
The link is in the show notes. It will always be in the show notes.
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BOTH CAN BE TRUE
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I want to close with something I've been thinking about since I
started building this.
It's a concept I learned from Dr. Becky Kennedy — she wrote a book
called Good Inside, which is a parenting book, nothing to do with
hockey. But the idea is this: both can be true.
When I was skating, I started out loving it completely. Then I broke
my first leg. Didn't love skating anymore. Then I broke the other leg.
Really didn't love skating. Then I blew my knee out. Really, really
didn't love skating. But I came from an insane sport family. Quitting
was not allowed. And so much of what I learned by being in skating
at that level has served me deeply in life.
Both can be true.
Hockey is hard and expensive and unpredictable and exhausting and it
is absolutely, completely worth it. What it does for our kids — the
discipline, the teamwork, the time management, the pressure, the
resilience — it's huge. And being able to say yes to what they love
is huge.
That is never going to be the question.
The question is whether the way we fund it, the way we carry the
financial weight of it, whether that is as good as it can be. And
for most hockey families, the honest answer is no. Not because they
aren't trying. Because nobody gave them better tools.
That's what I'm here to do.
Give you better tools. Walk upstream with you. Help you build a
version of this where the rink stays joyful — from lacing up those
first skates to walking off the ice senior year — where your family
stays whole, and where you stay on the list. Not last. Not barely.
Actually on it.
You said yes to this sport. You were always going to say yes. It's
like Say Yes to the Dress — except it's say yes to hockey. And we
all did.
Now let's make the how work the way it should.
I will see you in the community. The link is in the show notes.
We'll be back with another episode very soon.
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Fund the game. Do it together. Enjoy all of it.
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